Navigating

I've heard there are three levels of settling into being in another country: 1) survival 2) competency and 3) fluency. I would like to think that I have made it to competency, after all I studiously attend my German lessons, but it is sorely apparent that I am merely a survivor. Case in point: I was recently forced to navigate the German health care system. When we decided to come here, I knew that I would have to have my thyroid levels checked to measure the effectiveness of my medication. I gathered some courage and walked down to the doctor's office, hoping there would be someone at the desk who spoke English, but there wasn't. I had anticipated this scenario and written what I needed to say on a piece of paper beforehand, knowing I would draw a complete blank and begin to sputter and throw in a little French if forced to conjugate the German verb for "need". So I spoke my words to the nurse in my best German accent and she understood me. Then she spoke back to me, like she thought I would understand her. All I wanted her to say was "Of course, your accent is great and your appointment is tomorrow at 10" in plain English, but with a little German flair. We ended up playing charades and came to the conclusion that I needed a blood test (blutuntersuchung) because I had my thyroid (Schilddruse) removed (insert a picture of me slashing my finger across my throat).

I saw the doctor the next day. Replay the day before, me feeling helpless and inadequate in my language skills, trying to communicate my problem with my sparse German. Again we resorted to charades and when that didn't work, we moved on to drawing pictures. The doctor explained and explained and explained and still I did not understand. Just when I was beginning to lose all hope, he took a deep breath and said "My English is not very good. I think we need your, how do you say, calcitonin levels checked also." WTF?

I'm sharing this story because my test results came back, my levels are low, and I will have to increase my hormone dosage while I am here. I will visit the doctor's office on Tuesday armed with a copy of my new prescription and lab orders from my doctor in the states. And when you read about the American woman who was detained because she strangled the little doctor when he refused to speak English, you'll have a brief history. Please don't get me wrong, I am not one of those tourists who insists on speaking English in a country whose first language is not English. I always try to speak German. But you'd think that as a medical professional this doctor might best understand the possible consequences of playing a little joke on a woman whose hormone levels are low, hmm?