Tales from the Greenhouse

Chapter 1: Things Pertaining to Assholes

This is one of our mint varieties, M. candicans.
Such a pretty name, you'd think it would be sweet.
Such a feathery flower, you'd think it would tickle your senses.
You would be wrong.
The flowers on this mint plant smells like dog shit.
The first couple of times I worked near it, I kept checking my shoes to make sure I hadn't stepped in anything.

This is beautiful anise, an herb that smells of licorice and is commonly used in the flavor industry.
One would pronounce anise like "ann-iss".
Except one of our secretaries. She pronounces anise like "anus".
I recently received a phone call from her, stressing to me the importance of letting my boss know that her "anus" seed had been delivered.
So when she returned I did just that.
"Your anus is now available in the office".
Or when we walk into the room where the anise is grown someone is bound to say "Sure smells like anus in here".